Five Freakin’ Blades

November 30th, 2006Blog0 comments

The razorblade model of product consumption: Sell the consumer the razor at a low price, then make money off of the replacement blades. This model is used in ink jet and label printers, electric toothbrushes, and notably, video game consoles. Like the PS3, on which Sony is actually taking a loss on each console sold — the intention is to make money off the licensing and distribution of the actual games.

Now Gillette is giving away Fusion razors.

Fusion Razor.

It’s true — I got one in my mail. It has a metal handle, five freakin’ blades (four on the front and one on the back) and looks like a trail running shoe. I may use it for a while but I can’t see myself buying blades for it. It looks like something Buzz Lightyear would use to shave his huge, clefted chin.

I want my razor to be less toy-like and more dangerous looking. It would be black metal and have a skull on it. It should also glow and play death metal when you push a button. And any follicles it shaves off should be sent to a giant pile of hair in hell that is being used to knit a toupee for Lucifer. Yeah.