L.A. Confidential

June 9th, 2006General2 comments

Woot — guess who’s submission got onto Cute Overload today! This is one of my favorite websites (definitely worthy of my Internet Browsing Time!)!

Things are cuter with flowers on their heads.

This weekend: I’m digging a hole and hiding in there with tons of books and DVDs. Mass consumption, people. Idea manufacturing. No one had better come knocking on the door to my hobbit-hole. I need time to knit and glue a spiderweb of concepts together. No girls allowed.

However, I will be pancaking on Sunday. No one is invited. I’m going to eat cartoon sausages by myself. You can’t come.

Heavy Metal

June 7th, 2006General5 comments

LCC Show: Was quite good. Really cute — this was the singingest, dancingest show ever. I like seeing Hoai get hit in the head by things (soccer balls, giant tampons). Maybe the next show could be all about that.

I have a feeling that this next year is going to be really amazing.

The Sopranos: No more until 2007. Life has temporarily lost its shine.

The quote of the day comes from this expose about Australian meat pies actually containing less than 25% meat (they’re mostly lung and gristle):

“I’ll only worry if it comes frozen in a box,” Newland said. “I don’t buy dodgy pies.”

UPDATE: A pretty interesting treasure here: An extremely early anime from 1933. Complete with extremely awesome music and extremely awesome parallax scrolling.

Satan Rules this Place

June 6th, 2006General1 comment

They removed that three-armed baby’s third arm. For some reason this makes me feel kind of sad. “Imagine what could’ve been,” said Dave.

Ten years from now the kid’s mother will say, “When you were born you had three arms.” He’ll look at the remnants of the arm on his body — the little hill of flesh between his armpit and chest — and say “I did? What happened to it?”

“We had the doctors cut it off.”

Then this kid will think of all the times a basketball flew past his two measly hands, of the extra octave he could’ve achieved on the piano, of being able to deliver two left hooks to a bully’s face.

“WHY?!” he’ll scream.

For some reason I feel like modern society would’ve accepted a three-armed person. It definitely would’ve flown in San Francisco. I’m sure there are groupies who would’ve been into such a thing. You would be instantly cool upon introduction — “Yeah, this is Frank. He has three arms.” “WHAT?! Awesome!!”

This kid was robbed!

Media Exposure

June 3rd, 2006General3 comments

I just finished reading “The Da Vinci Code”. I thought it was all right, though I’m curious to see how they executed the movie.

I do enjoy reading though because it allows you to cast the story any way you want in your imagination. In my version of “The Da Vinci Code”, Robert Langdon was played by Dustin Diamond, Sophie was played by RuPaul, and Teabing was played by your momma.

Some capsule movie reviews:

• You, Me, and Everyone We Know – So sweet, disturbing, affecting, quirky and fun. Miranda July is awesome. Highly recommended, though not as a date movie. Unless your date enjoys scenes in which underage youths experiment with oral sex.


• Grizzly Man – All I gotta say is this guy was a fairly crazy fellow. With all due respect, there is no other way this man could’ve died besides being eaten by a bear. When you fuck around with bears that much, you’re probably not going to die in a car crash or something.


• X-Men 3 – Like I’ve been saying a lot recently, the best part of this movie was watching Ken Leung lull a scientist lady into a false sense of security with his loving caresses… And then skewering her. You’d think a Ph.D recipient would be more emotionally together, but I guess Ken Leung’s velvety touch is just too much for a lady to overcome.

Are you gay? This guy can cure you. Apparently all it takes is long sessions of spooning with another man (!!!) and beating a pillow while pretending it is your mother.

Copacetic

June 2nd, 2006General4 comments

It has been decided that people that use the word “copacetic” with great frequency must be destroyed. A friend of ours recently decided that, but I don’t want to name names because I might misattribute the quote and have to use the strikeout tag again.

I have yet to use the word “copacetic” in a real conversation. I’m hoping to only use it when I can get an awesome double meaning out of it, like when the Pope is in town and I can say that things are “Popeacetic”.

Hey, look at this:

There’s a new LCC show on the loose this coming Monday and Tuesday at UCLA! Check the website for an online trailer!

I’ve heard this show is going to be pretty good. Asses will be kicked! And I’m absolutely certain that’s Randy standing impishly behind the coyote on the poster. You know that’s a sign of quality!

Memorial Day Pick-a-nick / The Toughest Indian in the World

June 1st, 2006General2 comments

We had a nice picnic in the park for Memorial Day; at one point Rick sprayed lighter fluid into the BBQ and was engulfed by a small fireball.

“I’m-okay-I’m-okay,” he said, shaken. There were tiny globs of singed hair at the ends of his eyelashes.

Rick brought a wiffleball set, although the wind kept carrying the ball away. Everyone brought a lot of food, and I ate four hot dogs, three pieces of chicken, a hamburger, and a lot of salad over the course of four hours. Theoretically I didn’t need a dinner that night but ate one anyway.

Monica continues to regale others with stories of my eating abilities. I’m thinking of legally changing my middle name to “2 AND A HALF PANCAKES”.

So I’ve almost finished reading “The Toughest Indian in the World” by Sherman Alexie. So good, this book. I highly recommend it.

Sometimes you get this cold, sick feeling in the pit of your stomach from witnessing something terrible. Sometimes you laugh your head off when a friend tells you a joke in their own unique voice. Sometimes you feel a wry sense of awe when someone checkmates you in a way that you never saw coming. This book has got all of those feelings in it. And that makes it pretty f-in-awesome.

I was telling Kim, I wonder what would happen if Sherman Alexie wrote a story about non-Indian people. In every one of his stories it’s guaranteed that one of these words will appear in the first few paragraphs: COEUR D’ALENE or SPOKANE

“He was a Coeur D’Alene Indian…” “She was Spokane…” “Her mother was Chinese and her father was Spokane…”

Indians are such an integral part of his storytelling and the suffering and calamity and joy within… But the guy is just such a damned good storyteller that I think he could write about anyone and turn out something great.

He makes me want to be Indian. I would roll up to people and throw Sherman Alexie books at their heads like torpedoes and tell them that these words represent my people. “TREMBLE!” I would say.

And they would read the books and tremble and say amen amen amen.