Tonight We Dine In Hell
The phrase “It’s the kind of movie where you can just turn your brain off and enjoy it” seems to be said more and more often these days. The thing is, I can’t turn my brain off. And I don’t want to. Why should I have to in order to enjoy something? And for those who are indignant at this statement, thinking me some kind of elitist, let me put this into terms you can understand: If you have to put a bag over someone’s head in order to fuck them, should you really be fucking them in the first place?
300 was at its best when it was tongue-in-cheek: “Why can’t we be civilized?” the man says as he stabby stabs people to make sure they’re dead. At its worst it’s entertainment for this subset of people.
Frank Miller has women issues, yes. But I loved Sin City (the movie) because it had reverence for the original material, which itself had reverence for the genre — hardboiled detective/pulp fiction. That’s Frank Miller done intelligently. The movie version of 300 was Frank Miller + monsters from Doom + Stay The Course in Iraq + Samurais and Rhinos.
And another thing: The Queen of Sparta needs to get an invitation to speak to the “council of Sparta”? What the fuck?.. And long right-wing speeches from a people who are also extremely late-term abortionists?! Focus the message, people!
A better movie choice: Conan the Barbarian, featuring our illustrious Governor of California, who I still can’t believe is our Governor, but there he is. It is a story of revenge with way more heart and still contains huge guys with giant hammers. Plus a giant snake.
My Work in Print
Year Zero
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Cowboy Versus Samurai
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