Iowa
Mitt Romney looks like the President in a movie where Tommy Lee Jones or Harrison Ford is sworn to protect the President. Either that or he looks like the rival coach in a movie where Billy Bob Thornton is the coach of the worst NFL team in history. Either that or he looks like the kind of man who would pay to torture and kill a backpacker in Slovakia. From what I’ve read, he’s one of the richest of any of the candidates running, so if he loses, he can do that instead of growing a beard like Al Gore.
I have a pre-New Years ritual where I go out and buy a new wall calendar. It has to be of San Francisco.
I panicked a bit today when I couldn’t find one, but find one I did — hidden behind “JUST CORGIS”, which would have been a perfectly good backup. But tradition needed to be upheld. That’s why the Jewish people still thrive. Tradition!
Another pre-New Years ritual is to clean my apt. and also buy new shoes. And also get rid of last year’s dead bodies. And also clean out the fridge. The latter two things actually could be considered the same thing.
I got running again today after a week off for the holidays. My route was quiet, deserted. This is how I like it, although I would like it better if I was chasing a rabbit on a rail or a giant hamburger.
Loot
The Haul:
- Remote controlled minisub.
- Peter Griffin talking pen. (“Listen to my freakin’ sweet talking pen!”)
- Camouflage-patterned headwrap, just in time for the new Rambo.
- Human skull.
- Solid die-cast metal paperweight that reads, “Believe in your dreams.. They are ready and waiting to come true”. Perfect for smashing in someone’s skull.
I got an iTunes gift certificate. I used it to buy a few albums on my phone. The recent Yeah Yeahs and Band of Horses albums as well as Mozart for your Mind which has already caused my head to swell to twice its normal size. It is now covered with pulsating veins and has granted me telekinesis, which is useful for grabbing the remote control.
Mobile iTunes on the iPhone (already the lowercase “i” thing wearies my mind) is pretty addictive. It works wirelessly so you can browse stuff and send it directly to your phone. Jobs’ goal is to someday implant all iPods with this feature and turn iTunes into a ubiquitous pay-to-play media library. This will make it easier to worship him as a cybernetic god-being.
Muggles
Currently Reading:
Finally!
Happy Holidays!
So It Goes
On Slaughterhouse Five: I have discovered a new book to add to my short list of favorites of all time. Don’t you love when that happens?
I’m now pretty curious about the movie. I have an idea in my mind of how they could have adapted this thing — I’d like to see what they did. Also, I like alien zoos. There are two completely different directions my life could go in that I would be perfectly happy with: 1) Being an actor on a really great new Star Trek series that runs the full course of seven seasons, or 2) Being an attraction in an alien zoo. Prime rib, broccoli smothered in cheese, and no laundry for the rest of my life. Sounds fantastic!
Someone is getting socks from me for Christmas this year. I think I have finally made the leap into adulthood.
Mushaboom
Happy holidays everybody! I am in low power mode for the holidays, meaning that I’m focusing on the three Rs: Writing, catching up on my reading, and Rrrr-eating. I will also be visited by three Christmas ghosts and will change my ways. But we’ll deal with all that later.
So from now until 2008, tidbits:
I stopped on Idiocracy while flipping through the channels; I’ve mentioned this movie here before — it’s got tons of great little touches. A new one that I noticed is that Luke Wilson’s costume consists of disposable clothing (it comes out of dispensers like toilet seat covers) and Crocs. Brilliant!
Currently Reading:
Also working through the new Mark Haddon book. Thanks Rick and Angel!
Sans Serif
Currently Watching:
Helvetica is an amazing documentary about the font and typography/graphic design in general. Probably the most interesting piece I’ve seen on graphic design since an article I read about Paul Rand years ago.
I highly recommend this doc. In it they explore the history, usage, and proliferation of Helvetica. They talk to people who love the font as well as Helvetica Haterz. The Haterz are the most entertaining part of the film: “Why is Helvetica so ubiquitous? I don’t know — why is bad taste so ubiquitous?..” “It’s on every street corner — well McDonalds’ is on every street corner, people can go eat garbage if they want to eat garbage…”
I dabble in graphic design myself and got a lot out of this pic. The rise of Helvetica is in sync with the rise of corporations, modernism, and urban living. This doc’s now out on DVD — check it out.
This is Torture
I watched Hostel. Eli Roth said that “The point of a horror movie is that you’re supposed to feel terrible.” I can see that. Beyond the movie’s silly rubber prosthetics and sometimes dumb plot (“I COULDN’T FIND U CAUSE I WAS DRUNKENLY LOCKED IN A CLOSET ALL NITE”), one thing the movie illustrates well is the possibility of evil. It theorizes that there are people that are evil enough in the world to travel to Slovakia and pay to torture and kill another human being. It shocks us, turns our stomach with this fact. The disturbing thing is that we all bear the cognitive dissonance of being disturbed and at the same time knowing that these things happen in real life — and real psychopaths don’t need to pay to do it.
The thing that gets me about the modern horror movie is that they get right to the torture instead of skipping around it. Jason and Freddie tortured people, but they did it cloaked in suspense and eventually cartoonish humor. Saw, Hostel, these movies show you the tools, show you (with close ups!) how the tools work, and that’s that. Death is the show. The supernatural, the suspense, the FAT, etc., those things get thrown away.
It’s just raw. And I’m not sure whether that’s a bad thing or a good thing, but it can’t last forever.
Cognitive dissonance is one of my favorite phrases these days. We watch simulated torture or real torture and are horrified by it; meanwhile we continue to debate over what torture actually is so that we can continue to engage in it. We are a rich nation in massive debt. We ask school children for excellence while we celebrate the stupid.
Cognitive dissonance is weird but useful. It is the root of hope, and hope is a very good thing. But I think in the grand scheme of things, cognitive dissonance shares something with procrastination: It allows us to put off the inevitable, difficult choices that we have to make. It lets us put off being adults.
But what the hell do I know. Last night I ate a third of a pecan pie while watching Tin Man on the Sci-Fi channel — even though I hate it so very, very much.
They say that a 10% rule is a good way to stay fit: Exercise and eat well 90% of the time, and the other 10% eat whatever you want and just sit there. That seems to have worked well for me in the fitness department, so maybe I’ll work the same thing in the cognitive dissonance department: Be an adult that faces the truth for 90% of the time and be a slack-jawed, Brawndo-drinking gawker for the other ten percent.
My Work in Print
Year Zero
Available from Samuel French and Amazon.com
Cowboy Versus Samurai
Available from Samuel French and Amazon.comFor a complete list of books containing my work, please click here.
