The Way Which I Adore You

July 23rd, 2008Blog0 comments

I’m Here to Make Friends: A recent YouTube video let me know that the phrase “I’m not here to make friends” is spoken a lot in reality TV game shows.

By the way, the people on reality TV game shows are the worst people to ever walk the earth. I’m talking about talent-free game shows — the people on Top Chef, Project Runway, etc., are not included in this group. They have skills. But the people on VH1 reality shows are horrific.

Anyway — “I’m not here to make friends”. What a shitty, moronic thing to say. Human beings are intensely social creatures, and all the games that we play involve allies and enemies. The more allies you have, the more likely you are to win. Being excellent at what you do and having lots of allies is a surefire path to success. Being excellent at what you do BUT having an enemy in the wrong place at the wrong time can be disastrous.

Likewise, having a friend in the right place at the right time can be extremely valuable. Wherever you go, you should always be there to make friends. A friend will evangelize for you, pass your name on to higher ups. Humanity is a giant, complex network, and the more help you have the better off you are.

And anyway, even if you aren’t somewhere to make friends, why in god’s name are you saying that out loud and on camera? Shut the fuck up and keep it to yourself — no one needs to know who you’re gonna knife and when you’re gonna stick it in! As the old Klingon proverb goes, revenge is a dish best served cold. Emotionless, and without the victim ever seeing it coming.

In this respect, I try to be a good friend. I try to evangelize my friends’ work, do my part to get peoples’ stuff out there. It’s the least I can do.

And as for myself — I used to hate networking. But now I kinda love it. I realized that the key isn’t to talk about yourself — I always felt self conscious about that. The key is to ask people questions. Find out about them, get them talking about themselves. Connect with them. Then it all sorta becomes automatic.

And it’s also good to have a really great business card. Mine can be used for breaking and entering.