It’s a Trap

August 15th, 2008Blog1 comment

Not sure how I feel about the new Star Wars: The Clone Wars. My inner Comic Book Guy has taken a look at the trailer and feels a catch phrase coming on.

I have been burned pretty badly by Star Wars since episode one. The level of storytelling quality, thoughtfulness, and magic seen in Eps. 4-6 have been completely absent in the new trilogy and everything that has followed (except for the Bioware RPGs).

What is the magic? Where does the quality come from? I have a feeling that they come from a sense of truth that the original trilogy had. They were about clearly defined heroes and villains, about growing up in a dark time. They rang true, felt true.

Consider this: Every movie begins with the words, “A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…” These are the opening words of a fable. “Once Upon a Time…” It evokes legendary storytelling. It’s epic.

Now consider the opening crawl of Episode One that immediately follows: “Turmoil has engulfed the Galactic Republic. The taxation of trade routes to outlying star systems is in dispute.”

What the fuck?? Taxation? Trade routes? Who gives a flying fuck about that shit? At the very least it’s bad copywriting — no artful word choice, no poetry, nothing that deserves to follow the phase “A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away”. That’s like following the Declaration of Independence with a 1040EZ tax form.

In a better world, episodes one through three would’ve been a dark mirror reflection of episodes four through six. They would have presented a clear and stark opposite of what the first trilogy represents — a journey into the dark side. A young man falling into darkness because of a crumbling and decadent society that has lost its way. A once powerful society of knights that has become irrelevant because of its own mismanagement. Revenge leading to the dark side.

The thing that the first trilogy had that the second trilogy lacked was clarity. Everything was razor-sharp and precise. The second trilogy was stuffed with ill-thought of paths to nowhere: Jar-Jar Binks. Midichlorians. A fucking 1950s alien diner. All that garbage diluted the story, pulled it away from its own sense of purpose.

I get the feeling that all these errors, everything that has gone horribly wrong with Star Wars, came from the fact that no one ever had the balls to tell George Lucas “NO”. “This doesn’t work, George.” “This needs work, George.” “This Jar-Jar Binks dude might be perceived as a grossly embarrassing black stereotype, George.”

I’m getting the same sick feeling out of Clone Wars. I may be wrong, but the early reports about Ziro the Homosexual Hutt are causing a disturbance in the Force.

Disappointed, I will be.