Postpartum Depression

September 19th, 2008Blog0 comments

The thing is, once you finish writing something and it’s done, you’ve suddenly got a lot of time on your hands. You’ve been thinking, crafting, and assembling this thing for a while, and now it’s suddenly done. It’s left the nest.

It’s a weird feeling. You still want to work on it, but there’s no work to be done on it anymore (for now at least). So you just sorta sit there. You have other things to work on, but the impression of the finished project is still heavy in your mind. It’s like carrying a heavy load in your arms and suddenly putting it down — its impression is still felt in your muscles like a phantom limb.

So since I’ve finished I’ve been doing some stuff that I’ve been putting off. Vacuuming. Playing Half-Life 2 again. I’ve wanted to do this for a while — I loved HL2 the first time around and I’ve wanted to play it over since I finished it the first time.

I have a personal theory that Gordon Freeman and the G-Man are the same person. I think that the G-Man is actually an older Gordon Freeman who has somehow traveled back in time to Black Mesa to try to stop the events there and to aid himself in saving the human race.

Note that they both have the same facial structure. They also both have green eyes.

There’s this other, newer project that I want to start outlining soon. There are still big chunks of missing information in it, so it’s not going to be ready to go into that stage for a while. But it’s the next logical step forward.

It seems that with me, a project’s development takes the form of an hourglass. I spend a long time planning it out, outlining, structuring it. Doing research, thinking on paper.

Then I write it very quickly. After that I spend a long time re-writing, developing, and utilizing notes from others to shape it.

The form of my life will probably look like many hourglasses set end-to-end, stretching on until the very last one.