History X
So I’m all over HBO’s John Adams like ugly on an ape; I’m a huge sucker for historical dramas like Rome and I, Claudius. I love history like a stoner loves snack foods, and I go through historical materials just as quickly. To see my favorite actors dressing up and running around high production value scenery is a real joy for me.
Some dramatic history projects I’d love to see:
Caligula — Forget the cheesy Guccione porno version. I’d like to see a real, honest treatment of Caligula, Rome-style. The guy became emperor in his early 20s, went mad (probably due to his near-death illness), and got very interesting. The theme of this series would be about tragic emptiness: About the hollowness of absolute power and the isolation of being a self-made (upon pain of death!) celebrity of the ancient world — until his assassination. Lots of great lessons here for a modern treatment.
Jefferson Davis — I’d love to see his life from top to bottom. Yes, I’m talking about the president of the CSA. He was kind of a tragic figure in a way, brought to the top by a doomed movement, imprisoned after Civil War (and ironically outliving his counterpart in the North), and then sorta left behind by history — the Internet says that he became the president of an insurance company, when he was once the president of the secession. The very last scene should be his massive funeral, which along with Lee’s also probably marked the end of the old South.
Harriet Tubman — She seriously needs the movie treatment. Why hasn’t it happened yet? Oprah could bankroll this pic with the change in her couch. An interesting fact: Harriet Tubman lived to be, like, 92 years old.
Audie Murphy — Who is Audie Murphy? He’s the most decorated American soldier EVER. When you’re playing a video game and the main character is an invincible super soldier that takes infinite bullet wounds and keeps on truckin’: That’s Audie Murphy. I don’t know too much about the guy — whether he was an aw-shucks kind of feller or a Schwartzneggarian superman — but his story’s gotta be interesting. And it’s true.
Strangulated
Memories of Murder: You really have to be in the mood to watch a foreign film. Because you not only have to be in the mood to see a movie, but you have to be in the mood to read subtitles. However, Memories of Murder was definitely worth it.
It’s pretty much a perfect movie. In terms of pacing, writing, acting, and the balance between comedy and drama, it’s downright perfect. It’s the Korean twin of Zodiac, and in my opinion does some things even better than Zodiac did — namely the stark progression of time and loss when a case remains unsolved. It also paints a very different picture of Korea in the 1980s like Zodiac does of America in the 1970s. These things (i.e. serial killings) just didn’t happen back then, and when they did, the law was woefully unprepared.
This one’s a must see. Also, it has made me realize that the only way to properly attack someone is with a flying double leg kick. That’s all I’m doing from now on.
Because starting a new project is like starting a new relationship, I’ve been thinking about the old wedding proverb: “Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.”
“Something old” relates to something that has been successful in your work in the past. Don’t forget the capabilities that made you a success, and be sure to use them now.
“Something new” is about bringing in new ideas, experiments, and systems of thought. Don’t be afraid to try new things. That’s how you grow.
“Something borrowed” — look at what other people are doing and see how they’ve been successful. Examine the current market and the state of the art. Steal with good taste.
“Something blue” — I have no idea how this relates. Exclude it.
Quitting Quitting
Running really teaches you how to quit quitting. When I started early on there would often be times during the run where I’d want to quit for the day. My body wasn’t used to it yet — pain, fatigue set in… And I felt like I’d run enough for today and I should go get some Burger King.
After about a year of running I would still feel like quitting every now and then. Especially when adding more distance. Even after two years it would pop up in my mind randomly: Hey, what if I quit this run right now?
But now, after something like four years of doing this, I never think of quitting. It never enters my mind. Mentally, I’m just doing an activity for an hour and a half. My mind wanders. Random thoughts invade like mutant DNA. I get ideas.
This attitude has pervaded my entire life. I think that’s the best thing about it. I have quit quitting. I know that the idea of quitting anything is there — it’s possible — but it’s never a road I go down. I always just work my way through instead.
Writers Journey, 3rd Edition: I highly recommend this upgrade. Not only is it twice the size as the second edition, but now it’s illustrated! It’s like flipping through an RPG handbook.
Picked On
Song of the Week: This amazing bluegrass version of Modest Mouse’s Float On.
In fact there’s a whole “Pickin’ On” series of bluegrass covers of everything from Metallica to Tenacious D. Yes, you haven’t really lived until you’ve heard “F**k Her Gently” in the country soul stylings of bluegrass guitar.
I’ve been thinking about the “power of yes” lately — that is, the idea of saying yes to everything and seeing how it opens up new opportunities, experiences, etc..
After careful study of this concept, I would say that saying yes to everything creates more problems than opportunities; you wind up doing a lot of pro-bono work that you don’t want to do. Plus you develop the rep of being someone that always says yes — read: A sucker.
I think the thing to do is not to blindly say yes to everything but to answer challenges. To take on tasks that will test your skills, that have deadlines that are tricky (but not impossible!), and that have clear and desirable rewards.
Note that some rewards may not be visible at the beginning of the challenge, but may pop up later on. Going big on things has a way of attracting positive attention and prizes that you may not even be aware of.
More on this later once it’s solidified in my head.
Burrito Americana
Chipotle Grill: Excellent burritos. A new one just opened in my neighborhood. It reminds me of Hi-Tech Burrito up in Marin — tightly wrapped, cylindrical artillery shells of food encased in foil.
I think it’s the ingredients that make these great. Also the tortillas are heated at the moment they are ordered. This helps them retain their shell shape without disfiguring/breaking open.
I’ve eaten one a day for the last four days in a row. Someone please help me!
There’s a store around these parts called Aaahs. They are the local plastic crap store. They sell gag gifts, Munsters lunchboxes, bachelor party joke items. I mention them because they dovetail nicely with this article from the Huffington Post: Top Ten Most Useless Items of Crapola. (via Digg)
We buy a lot of stupid shit. I include myself in this population of stupid shit buyers. However, I’m switching gears. I’m gonna stop buying stuff that I don’t need. Things have gotten too disposable, too one-use-only.
I like the stuff I already have. We have a history together. This especially goes for computers that I own. I can think of the precise things I wrote on each one of them. That’s kind of cool. It’s like picturing the car that you drove cross-country from Seattle to NYC, or the gun that killed that dude you really didn’t like. You have a history together. A very masculine, testosterone-injected history.
No Wire Hangers
A while ago I was wondering if reality TV could sink any lower than Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. Well, it can and it has: I Know My Kid’s a Star (via my favorite feminist snarky blog Jezebel)
This is a team-based reality show where deluded stage parents and their terrified children are pitted against each other with Danny Bonaduce supervising. The contestants are all horrific stereotypes selected for maximum conflict. They say things to their children like, “I’m a single mom, it’s up to you (nine year old kid) to buy us our dream house”. Everyone is grilled about a Hollywood system that is described as a monstrous machine that grinds up the bones of orphans.
Celebrity Rehab is low, but at least it showcases actual adults exploiting themselves. They know what they’re getting into. But a show that crushes the dreams of children who are in the care (!?) and control of vile, Mommy Dearest parents? The concepts of good and evil have gotten a lot less subjective. And the worst part is that they’re playing for a pittance: The first (and only) prize is a mere $50k. The show isn’t just vile, it’s cheap.
Yeah, I watched the first episode. But my relationship with it is over. It was a bad first date.
But cheer up! Because someone has gone out and invented Bacon Salt.
Yes, Bacon Salt. Because everything should taste like bacon.
Clone Tool
Why you should never believe anything you see or read in a magazine: Photoshop Disasters.
Must be weird to be an artwork person. To start with the truth and then intentionally work backwards and create garbage. It must be like having a friend who is a pathological liar — you don’t necessarily come up with the lies, but you’re the one that has to support and maintain them. Soul crushing!
I wonder what their goal is? Is it to become the person who supervises, cracking the whip and yelling about deadlines? I guess so. But I have a feeling that by the time you’ve gotten there, you’re so dead inside that you automatically perpetuate the cycle.
So I’m reading Harry Potter right now. Finally, yes!
In my mind I’m picturing the characters differently from the movies. A friend of mine mentioned that she sees the characters in a sorta Claymation style, so the movies don’t do it for her.
I think that’s really cool. There’s a distinct problem facing kids these days: Pre-fabricated characters.
When we were kids we’d make up characters. Build new things out of Legos. Draw things and people that never existed before.
But we just missed being part of the “branded” generation — where cartoon characters arrive pre-packaged with their own pre-written stories and histories. The Transformers, GI Joe, those marketing cartoons in the 80s were the beginning of those.
I think the existence of pre-fab characters are a crutch on a person’s imagination. Instead of writing fiction they write fan-fiction. It’s the same problem with memes: Instead of developing an individual wit, a person regurgitates. It’s not healthy.
Coming back to the Photoshop thing: Idealized Photoshopped female beauty, pre-fabricated characters — since the media is so powerful in our society, it has crowned a default, generic image that everyone’s supposed to Photoshop towards. This is pretty silly for a society that claims to prize individuality.
I often say I like weird looking people. I totally do. I don’t like hot women — I like distinctive looking women. Uniqueness, unique stories.
Photoshopping everything towards a fake norm just creates computer generated monsters.
My Work in Print
Year Zero
Available from Samuel French and Amazon.com
Cowboy Versus Samurai
Available from Samuel French and Amazon.comFor a complete list of books containing my work, please click here.
