Young Man Wins Lottery; Starts All-Female Wrestling Promotion with Jimmy Hart

April 17th, 2009Blog0 comments

Only in America, people. Only in America.

This makes me really happy. It’s pretty much the absolute personification of the American dream.

A 19 year old man wins $35 million in the lottery. But instead of playing it safe and merely partying it up, he says to himself, “You know what I want to do? I want to start an all-female wrestling promotion.” And he goes out there and he does it.

That’s what it’s all about, people. That’s what America is fuckin’ about. That’s what we call a massive victory of imagination. The mundane has been carpet-bombed into oblivion. This is why we won the cold war, you commie motherfuckers!

And guess who’s involved? That’s right — the “Mouth of the South”, Jimmy Hart. Notice that he hasn’t aged since the 1980s because he has been cryogenically frozen until a future time when he could come back to head an all-female wrestling promotion.

That time has come. Check the website.

This is why the terrorists hate us: Because they want to be us. U-S-A! U-S-A!