Notes on Getting Older

July 11th, 2009Blog2 comments

Hey hey, it’s my birthday! A day to say that I’ve gotten a year older, although I am apparently getting older every day — my cells are regenerating like bad photocopies; my DNA is slowly degrading. Soon there will be nothing left but a pleasant memory: Hey, remember when that Golamco kid was around? That sure was fun. Remember when he ate that whole pecan pie by himself? Good times!

Birthday presents: I pretty much have everything I need. If I were an action figure, my blister pack would come with tons of stuff to fit in my kung-fu grip. A laptop, a nice collection of shurikens/nunchucks, etc..

But there were a few things that I wanted, so I got them for myself. That’s how I roll:

- A Baseball Cap from a Minor League Team: I’m a sucker for smaller-town Americana. You can keep your Yankees and White Sox and Giants and what-have-you. I only root for teams with food as their mascots:

The Montgomery, Alabama Biscuits. Their mascot is an anthropomorphic biscuit with a pat of butter in his mouth. Sometimes he is pictured covered in sausage gravy. Just kidding. But seriously, he should be.

- More Miles: I usually add an extra mile to my run every year. But not this year — I’m up to eight. So instead I got myself the inverse: A whole pecan pie. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

- Books: American Gods by Neil Gaiman and Problem Solving 101 by Ken Watanabe. In this next year I will become your brooding problem solver.

A good friend asked me if I have any goals that I need to accomplish now that I’m older. I told her that I feel like I’m doing pretty great. I’m not a lady so I don’t have any eggs to worry about / freeze. And I feel like I’m on track with getting things done.

I do wish I could dance like Christopher Walken. Maybe that’s something I could work on.

So as you know, I’m getting a dog. This will be my real birthday present. This will be happening in October when I’ve met a few deadlines and things have settled down a bit.

More dog names I like:

- Petunia
- Oswald
- Ebert
- Taft
- Chewbacca the Wookie
- Ogreface
- Martini

Someone has been writing inspirational messages in chalk all over the UCLA campus. Things like “LIVE IT UP” and so forth.

Thanks. You don’t have to remind me.

Golamco OUT.