Disney’s “UP” Has Everything I Need
- An Asian kid
- A talking dog
- A flightless bird that mocks you
- Ed Asner
- Dogs that fly planes and shoot machine guns
- A first act that reduces even the most stone-cold gangsta into a blubbering mess
Yes, it’s almost perfect. 99% perfect. But to be absolutely perfect, the only thing that it really needs is…
Yes, Gymkata: The martial art that comes from gymnastics. I’m not making this shit up. Look it up on IMDB.
Check out how much ass is being kicked in the Gymkata movie poster. Those ninjas didn’t know what hit em. They’re going down in a spray of throwing stars and shit. Gymkata kicks so much ass that it tore a hole through its own motherfuckin poster.
There is no Gymkata in Up! If Up had Gymkata in it, it would surpass Citizen Kane on my list. Then Up could only be surpassed by Citizen Kane with Gymkata in it, which would totally be the best thing ever.
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4 Comments
It’s a goal of my life to live in a European with a pommel horse in the town square.
European village that is, it’s late and I’m tired.
Oy, oy, finally saw UP a week ago. It truly is near perfect.
I have friends that love the masterpiece Gymkata is. They had that poster in their room in college. I never thought anyone else would ever see that movie or even hear about it.