I Am a Newly Minted Hobo

January 23rd, 2010Blog1 comment

T-Minus one week until I’m a professional layabout without an office to go to every day. I need to find a new daily place to commute to in order to keep cabin fever at bay.

I’m thinking about rotating among various coffee shops in the neighborhood, although I don’t want to become a member of that species of weirdo-with-a-laptop that you see at such places. But maybe it’s inevitable; maybe this is how that type of weirdo gets born.

Someday you might see me in the corner wearing two pairs of glasses and a trucker hat that says “FEMALE BODY INSPECTOR”, shuffling through a stack of National Geographics from 1987. Maybe I’ll be working off of an iMac that I dragged in with me on a shopping cart, leveling up my World of Warcraft doods. Maybe.

I also might hang out at the libraries at UCLA. I’ve always been extremely productive there. Ray Bradbury wrote Fahrenheit 451 in the basement of Powell Library on a rented typewriter. I feel his ghost hovering around there even though he isn’t dead yet. I get a bit of joy off this idea, and seriously speaking, I feel energized by having lots of people working around me. It’s like we’re all in a gang together — a gang of nerds.

I could also hang out at my manager’s place. She has an office. I could work there every day until she boots me out. I believe that there are Diet Cokes there that I can steal from the fridge. That would be a nice transition.

Maybe I should just hang out in random offices. I’m Asian, so people would think that I belonged there and they wouldn’t call the cops. But then again, people would keep asking me to fix their computers. And I’d have to fix their computers because I’m polite.

Maybe I’ll just stay at home.

Regretsy is my new favorite site. It was pointed out to me by my good friend James. It contains the most horrible of the horrors available for purchase on etsy.com, the website where hipsters hawk their handcrafted tchotchkes.

I actually really kinda love this thing:

It’s kind of awesome in a folk-arty way, like a product of that crazy artist dude from Junebug. Plus Heidi Montag only looks vaguely irritated by being in hell, like she would if you made her eat at Applebee’s.

In fact I kinda sorta want to buy it if it hasn’t been bought already. Now you know what to get me for my birthday!

Oh, I know what I’ll do re: this office-less nomadic situation: I’ll adopt a co-worker.