We’re Glad You’re Here But We Don’t Shake Hands

April 3rd, 2010Blog0 comments

I spent the last week in NYC casting Year Zero, and what I said about auditions still stands. But I also learned a few new things from this process that I’d like to share here on this web site:

The no-handshaking thing is real: There’s a well-known rule that when you come in to audition, you shouldn’t touch anyone in the room. Don’t try to shake peoples’ hands, don’t touch the reader, etc.. The casting people said that there is a very practical reason behind this: They see hundreds of people every week and if they shook hands with everyone they’d turn into germ stars. In turn they would infect everyone else they touched, so… No handshaking. Of course, there’s no polite way to tell people not to touch them other than to hope that they know the no-handshake rule.

But some people still try to shake your hand anyway, and this can deduct a couple of points from an actor’s audition. So if you’re an actor, remember: Don’t touch anybody. The casting folks told me that at Law and Order auditions they actually put up a sign that reads “We’re glad you’re here but we don’t shake hands” to make the point clear.

What’s fun is that different people have different methods to avoid being touched by actors that are absolutely intent on shaking their hands. Some people already feign sickness (“I have a cold… sniffle”), other people hide in the corner as the actors come in. Personally, I use a fist bump which theoretically minimizes exposure.

The best gig is to be a reader: We had an excellent reader in the room with us all three days to work the sides in audition. He was consistent, did great readings of the material, and really helped each actor come alive in their auditions.

I’m convinced that if I were an actor, becoming a reader would be the best training gig I could get for my off time. It gets you in the room to work with a casting director, you get to see TONS of your fellow actors audition (and you hear the usually top-secret feedback from the casting people/directors/producers/writers after they’ve left the room), and you do hours and hours of readings — a great way to hone your own audition skills. It must be a really tough job but if you’re good, all I see are plusses.

If your audition goes by quickly it doesn’t mean it went badly: Sometimes a person will walk in and read just one or two sides and we’ll know right away that they’re great — maybe even the best we’ve seen — and they don’t need to continue. So even if you’re in and out of there in a hurry, it might not necessarily be a terrible thing… Or it could be that you’re totally wrong for the part and the casting folks don’t want to waste anybody’s time. One of those two things.

Again, this really makes me want to try my hand at acting. And again, I feel pretty comfortable about it because I have nothing to risk by doing it. As a writer working on the other side of the table I’ve seen a lot of other dimensions that can help me as an actor — how to break down a scene, how to discern intention, etc..

In fact if you’re an actor and you’d like me to help disseminate your audition sides, I might be willing to do that.

Because when it comes down to it if I ever truly got into acting I could probably only play a very specific type of character: Large foreheaded scientists.