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Hello, I am the bird that hangs out on Sacramento Street (above Schroeder’s Restaurant). The one that’s been flying down and attacking people.
CNN just did a piece on me without giving my side of the story. So here it is:
Person #1: I did not attack this person because he [...]

In which I get sunglasses that open my eyes further than I would really appreciate to have them opened, thank you.

If you stop following @senjohnmccain expect an angry phone call.

I would enter the person’s office, introduce myself. “Thank you, [Name] for coming in. I have some information regarding your organization that I want to tell you in person.”

This is my list of grievances against you.

Wherein Vice President Biden encounters Dr. Sanjay Gupta and tries to order a Slurpee.

If you really love watermelons, never go into politics.

When I met a lady and her small, very racist dog.

When I discovered a knot-hole that yielded many fine treasures.